Us at our 3rd wedding ceremony in Kerala April 2007
Hi, I’m one half of blindian love.. the other half is my husband “M”. This blog is about our lives together as a mixed marriage couple, specifically African American (me) and East Indian (M). We have been married for three years. We have two children (from my previous marriage) and two dogs (one that I’m convinced has a social disorder, lol).
I started this blog to hopefully shoot down some of the common misconceptions people have about relationships like ours and to answer some of the more common questions that people may have about being in an intercultural relationship. Is is always easy? Nope. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat.
This blog will address everything from life in India to cultural perceptions and marriage in general. I hope you will enjoy what we have to say and that our experience helps you see that relationships like ours can certainly survive.
Hi,
someone just sent me a link to your blog and I love it. I am a Black woman, married to a Spanish man and I blog about all kinds of meltingpot issues over at http://www.myamericanmeltingpot.com. I put a link to your site up today in my post.
Stop by and I’ll def. be checking in again here.
LT
Thanks Lori,
I’m headed over to check out your blog now and will post a link on my site as well. I’m so happy to see people from all cultures loving one another despite societal pressures!
hello i just came across your blog and i am so HAPPY to have found that there is another couple out there like my husband and i. I am african american and my husband is east indian. We have been married 5mths and together 3yrs and we get much sterotypes but we have often wondered if there were any other couples like us out there!
Hello ! I just found your blog.How refreshing.
I had never heard of an IR married Black woman with an Indian man, though I suspect there are more than a few.
I’m a Bollywood nut myself and just 3 days ago I made a list of all the movies I’ve watched… 22 so far in a short time!
Also ,how can I get in touch with you regarding your voice over business?
I wish you and your family all the best.
Hi, I just wanted to say that I love your blog. I found your blog from black female interracial marriage ezine. I go to the ISKON temple in Denver CO. I’m one of a few black females that go to that temple. I love going there. The guys at my temple are so nice. I just wanted to say that I support your blog and hopefully there will be more blindian love out there in the world.
P.S. On Sunday I was given a matrimonial website. Maybe I will get a husband out of the site.
Nakia
Nakia,
Thanks so much for stopping by the blog and leaving a comment! Good luck on your marriage search!
Hello Nakia,
What has your experience been like as an African American going to a Hindu Temple? Would you care to share the matrimonial website with me?
Thanks
Greetings,
So nice to read about an interracial marriage between an AA woman and an East Indian man. The love of my life was a South Indian from Tamil Nadu. I am an AA woman. We could not overcome immigration issues with our governments. We are both Christians. His mother accepted me. Been in love with India ever since. My goal is to find love again from India.
I already commented on one of your blogs but thanks so much for sharing your experiences with us. I’m an AA woman definitely open to dating Indian men but there’s so many stereotypes about Indians and Indian culture so it’s refreshing to hear from someone who is actually living the experience.
Nice to know I’m noþ alone! I’m a black american female engage to marry a indian man who I love very much and have a beautiful relationship with tell me from your experience what challenges lie ahead
Nice blog. I am an Af Am woman and married my Sikh-American husband a couple of months ago. We’re living in the South as well. It’s nice to have stumbled across your blog and I look forward to stopping by again.
Wow! This is encouraging. I am mixed Black and East-Indian but my folks are Jamaican. It’s not uncommon there but in the U.S. it’s strange.It’s good to hear of a relationship in the U.S . between the two.
Hi, thats great, i also loving one east african girl but i dont know the immegration problems, i want to know that . please let me know
I have finally found a blog for people like me. I have been married to a South Tamil Indian for 21 years. It has been hell on wheels and at times great love. I did not know anything about Indian culture or man before I started to date him. I would like to get together to chat, mental health counseling (LOL), and share some good Bollywood movies. Hope to hear from you soon. I was just thinking about starting a blog on the same subject and than I discovered yours. Peace and Blessings
Maria
Maria,
Great to hear from you. It’s always wonderful to hear from new blog readers. Your idea to get together made me think of something.. for those of us within a couple of hours of one another (and those who maybe want to take a side trip), it would be great to do a type of meet and greet or something. I’ll post a blog on it later or anyone interested can email me directly.
Hi there! I’m so happy that I found your blog. I’m a black female married to an Indian man (mother is Tamil/Hindu and his father his from Andara/Christian). We’ve been together a long time, and only married 2 months! It’s been challenging, but our families have been so supportive, and I adore my mother in law…my husband is my very best friend. Anyway…I look forward to reading your posts.
Hiya,
So glad I stumbled unto your site. I’m glad to see more resources out there that focus on intercultural issues and topics.
I just wanted to introduce to Wedding Nouveau, a new style guide for intercultural brides and multi-ethnic weddings. We feature real fusion weddings, inspiration boards and designers dedicated to making culture and global chic accessible and stylish. Since launching in the fall, there’s been an overwhelming response to our content, which confirms my belief that there is a strong global need for stylish and informative resources that deal specifically with multi-ethnic affairs. Anyway, I hope you can check us out.
Thanks again, and spread the love.
–
Spicyhugs,
Fri Bailey
Editor & Creative Director,
Wedding Nouveau
http://www.weddingnouveau.com
follow me on Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/weddingnouveau
become a fan on Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/pages/Wedding-Nouveau/128237609876
hello i am 20 yrs old and i consider myself black and my boyfriend is 22 yrs old and he is half black and pakistiani. I have a problem with our relationship because he hasnt told his father and father side which is pakistan about me because he said they are strict with dating. Also, because i am christian and he is “muslim”. He told me his father would have a problem with me being christian. However, my boyfriend doesnt consider hiself muslim or christian and want him to be christian because we will share a common ground but hes afraid of what his father may think. We are in love and have been going out for two and half years. I would really hate to break up with him becuase im so in love and this religion thing has me confused and going crazy. I didnt go into this relationship ezpecting love it just happend. Please help, i need some form of advice
Clare, I’m going to open your question up to some of the other reads. I want to think for a bit on how best to respond to your issue. I know you probably feel pulled in many different directions. The lovely memebers often have some good advice. I’ll reply soon… promise.
Hi
This is my 3rd time on your blog. I think I will memorize the site name this time. I’m actually an African American Man getting ready to marry an Indian (Gujarati-Jain) American Woman. We met in Starkville, MS and now live on th Mississippi Gulf Coast. I seem to find more AA women with Indian Men than the opposite. Have you noticed this as well? Also, have you seen any AA/Indian interacial children? If you know of any pictures online I’d love to see them. I love the website. It gives me hope because her family (particularly mom, dad, and older relatives) are still learning to deal with our engagement.
Thanks for making this blog,
Cornelius Young
I have blindian kids. I am from Kerala, married to AA man from So Cal. I dont want to post on the internet here but I can tell u the kids have a nice blend. They have more of the Indian hair but it is thicker and their complexion is a little darker than mine. I say they got a nice blend of both of us. Some people dont realize they are half black until they see my husband. Compliments on their looks are plentiful. People stop us on the street to comment. But most of the comments come from whites and blacks, not as much from Indians who are too caught up with the light skin versus dark skin issues.
Even though it has been three years since you guys have tied the knot, may I still extend words of congrats about your marriage
Maybe I’m blind or something, it’s rare that I see Blacks/South Indians. In my lifetime I have been accustomed to seeing Black/White, Black/Asian( Vietnamese, Thai ,Cambodian etc) and sometimes Black/latino( Mexican, Cuban), but rarely do I see Indians and Blacks doing it.
Although I’ve been in a multicultural setting all of my life, I’ve only seen only three of them. The last one that I see was from my school. I was always curious about him not because I wanted to date him( He’s a baby compared to me ). He’s has always been in the company of Black women. Long as I have seen him, I have never seen him with a White , Latino or even an Indian woman for that matter. I wonder that if her ever marries what race his wife would be? IN all honestly, to know him, you would think that it would be with a Black woman, but in case not, it would definately have to be with an Indian woman who has his same class, group and attitude.
When I was younger I would pass by Georgia Tech and see all those cute South Asian/Arab men. Me and my girls would just bee ooing and ahhing about those guys, all of us were doubtful. All we seen was mama and daddy wanting their son to marry a good Indian girl. We just felt that race or Tradition would get in the way of it, but we kept dreaming of being together.
Still, we never know who god may want us to be our husbands/wives( if you’re guys). He could be a black, White, Latino, Native American or South Asian. It’s about about the heart. I’m not looking for any guys of ANY race at this time,but I ‘ve always been open minded and far as I’m concerned a good man can come from any race.
Anony missy,
I’m hooked on AVS( Asian Variety Show) Myself. I would religiously watch it every saturday before they went to Comcast. I have Direct TV, I’m going to see if I can get it with them. Mean while, I’m just going to check out the clips. I miss their movie reviews. The one thing that I admire about their critics is that they are honest with their them. If the movie sucked, they will say such opposed to only getting a select few who will obviously say that the movie was great although they may be lying to themselves about it. I also miss watching some of the oldies( when shown). I don’t know what my television station did, but I’m having an AVS drought as too many dull reality shows are predominating it( Geez!)
Claire,
A Muslim friend of mine told me that Muslim men can marry Christian women, while Muslim women have to marry only Muslim men. I think that you and your boyfriend should talk about where you both want religiously be and get those differences resolves. Far as I’m concerned , Love is unconditional. If the relationship is meant to be, it will be.
I
Ran into your blog through GoriGirl. Congratulations for wonderful married life and being a role model for millions of Indians obssessed with light skin. My BFF is an AA he told me about Fair and Handsome face cream for men in India, I could not believe it. You can sell anything to Indians in the name of light skill and sexual prowess.
This one is for Claire,
To be in love is great but life is long and you are just 20. How do you know this is it? Have you explored around. I do not say your relationship or your guy have a problem. I am just trying to say look around there is so much more in life than being tied to a person at such a young age. Where are you with your education and career? How you both plan to support your household?
If he can’t face his folks today he’ll not stand up for you tomorrow. If they don’t like you today for what ever reasons there are greater chances they’ll not like you in future.
Is he planning to convert for you or he was already contemplating a conversion? If it is for you then when ever you guys will have differences he’ll hang it over you to make you feel guilty. Look what I did for you.
Life is beautiful and love is divine just enjoy both you’ll have many opportunities to discover love.
Best,
http://www.girlsguidetosurvival.wordpress.com
Hi,
I am an African-American female, married to a Gujarati Indian man. We’ve been married for 2.5 years now and it has been great, but very difficult at times.
Even before our marriage, we’ve lost several school friends and some long time friends due to our relationship. We both had a very mutual college friend (also Gujarati) whom I considered very very good friends with (I’ve asked her to be my bridesmaid), tell my husband (my fiancee at the time) not to marry me because I was black. In another case my husband lost his long time friend of 20+ years because he married me. We can’t seem to be able to find stable friends, even now. People give us looks and snares when we’re in public — especially other Indians. It has become quite gloomy at times but my husband has never ceased to love me unconditionally regardless. He’s an absolute gem and a wonderful supportive husband; I love him dearly. But I often wondering when our relationship with others will thrive again.
I’m wondering if there’s a forum for people who are also in my situation (preferrably black and Indian couples). If anyone knows anything, please let me know. Thanks!
p.s. out of respect for this blog’s author, I will not start the Facebook group if she says no or wants to start it herself.
Hi,
Congratulations on your relationship and thanks for dropping by the blog! I am so sorry to hear that you all lost some of your friends behind your decision to be together. Look at it this way, at least you finally know what’s really in their hearts. It’s sad I’m sure because you probably thought you knew them well. M and I get looks when we are out in public too depending on where we are.. but I got used to stares when we lived in India.. girl, it’s even worst there! I can relate to you and your husband and the lack of friends. M and I are the same way.. M prefers it that way to a sense but… I don’t. It would be nice to have a couple to hang out with on ocassion that can understand the challenges we have as an intercultural couple.
I don’t know of other forums other than the Blindian Network that the other poster mentioned. I used to have a yahoo group but I shut it down due to lack of activity. I do maintain contact with three other blindian couples. The other poster Palak, suggested a facebook page which I think is a WONDERFUL idea. I’ll give more information on that shortly after I communicate with her.
Stay strong and email me.. let me know where you are. If you’re close maybe we can get together at some point.
I chanced upon this site but am really glad I did. I’m of India descent and my wife is a white american, but I’ve dated a black american in the past. I admire you and want to encourage you. If so called friends had/have an issue with your marriage, they were never your friends after all. We live in PA and if you and your spouse lived near by, would have liked to be open to the potential for friendship. We love to travel when we can and experience other cultures and perspectives.
@Glenn
I was just curious about what it was like for you when you dated a black American? Did you find that friends and family were not as accepting as your marriage to a white American? I just wonder if Indians are more accepting of Whites marrying them as opposed to Blacks?
Thanks
Hi Charie,
I’m really fortunate in that my family is very accepting of any race, so I did not have an problems while dating the AA woman. I am a bit of a rebel in my family, in that if I believe in something, I will stand by it even if the whole world things I’m wrong. My wife is also very accepting of other races but it helps that we are both christian (I became a christian while back in India before marriage). My close friend’s sister has married an AA man and he is a good man.
It is really unfortunate that while many Indians don’t like to experience racism, they freely mete it out to blacks. This behavior was quite common among the South Indians on campus (not all South Indians are like this) when i went to school here in the States. I was utterly amazed and saddened by this behavior because these guys were themselves on the dark side. I did not tolerate such tendencies in my presence.
To get back to your question, Indians in general (the ones who are superficial anyway) do have a penchant for a lighter complexion. This is not just with reference to an AA but also in India within the caste system. In general, the higher castes tend to be lighter complexioned. This attitude is less prevalent in cities like Bombay, so if you meet an Indian who grew up in such a place, you would have less of a chance of such behavior.
I hope this answers your question.
Regards..
@AVARIAH I TOO am african american and my husband is from mumbai Indian and we both have the same struggles that you and your spouse are experiencing. it seems hard to get accepted from both sides ..other indians or other blacks. but we love one another and we travel and enjoy each other’s company. Anyone who cant or arent willing to accept that can keep it moving .because it doesnt keep us from being ourselves. we too are looking to meet other couples like ourselves ..i would love to hear back from you
@ Tamera
Welcome. There is a group on Facebook called Blindian Love created by this blogger. It’s a wonderful way to connect with others in your situation and also read about the interaction(s) between Indians and Africans/Blacks.
I am glad that you are not letting others control your relationship and you are moving forward. Have you been to India? It is interesting that many Africans/Blacks have a problem with these relationships too…not just Indians.
Peace
@Charie thanks for the info on the facebook group. I have not been to India as of yet. My husband would really like for me to go and meet his sister. His parents are deceased and he wants me to see his home he still has there and meet friends. But i am not comfortable with the idea of going and feeling unaccepted. while his friends and i get along now there were many things said at the begining of our relationship that makes me feel like i would be uncomfortable going there. so as for right now i have not gone but i have not ruled it out.
Hello,
You will be fine. You will meet people who will not look down on you. My Indian husband do not have many friends, but I am very friendly and socialabe. It would be nice to get together and meet other couple like yourself in person. Where do you live? We can become friends with each other. We are a unique bunch. Reply back.
Maria
Hi, what a beautiful blog! I am a 1st gen Indian Gujarati woman and happily engaged to 1st gen Jamaican man. We will finally be tying the knot after 5 years because it took that long for my parents to come to terms. Based on my friends’ experiences and what I see in the bridal blogs/magazines, Inter-racial and inter-faith marriage is on the rise among South Asians. BUT, it appears to be more common between South Asians and white Americans. I’m SO SO glad to have found this site not only for the advice, but also to prove to my parents that we are not the first! For those of us with children or planning to have children, it will be important to show them just how beautiful Blindian Love is. I think it would be great to start a Facebook group so we can all connect. I’d be happy to start it and credit it back to this blog. Please look for it.
Love, Palak
p.p.s. there is a blog and facebook group called Blindian Network. it’s from a couple in the UK and sometimes feels a little too MySpace-y for me. i prefer the toned down vibe of this blog, but if you’re looking for a compliment to this blog, check it out.
Palak
How awesome to hear from another blindian couple on the flip side of the coin. I always love hearing from new people. Thanks for the blog love and sharing your experience. I love your idea about starting a facebook page (and your respect for me not to start it without agreement.. that was awesome of you..thank you!) Would you mind emailing me and we can work on it together.. what do you think? I’m looking forward to learning more about you all.
Excellent! I’m happy to help you out in any way that I can. FB might be a nice way to share stories, post pictures (e.g.family celebrations) and ask for advice so that a larger community can weigh in with different perspectives. I didn’t find your e-mail on your site, but I’ve submitted mine through these posts, so feel free to contact me at your convenience.
Also Avariah, just curious, where do you live? I’m in NYC where it’s very common to see mixed couples so my fiance and I have escaped a lot of social stigma (or maybe we just don’t notice it!) One thing that helped us is that over the years we talked A LOT about all of the possible “issues” that could come up in our relationship. For some issues, it was easy to identify a game plan and for other issues (e.g. my parents disowing me) it took a lot of discussion to get to a place where we were comfortable with the outcomes. Ultimately, because our committment to each other is so strong, we decided it was worth taking the next step despite the possible risks. Althought it’s hurtful to lose people you cared about, your marriage is more important than the social connections you lost. For now, lean on any friends or family who do support you and trust that you will build new social connections with more open-minded people in the future…it takes time… and focus on the fact that you each have a best friend in each other. Good luck!
-P
Gee , with ” friends” like those who needs enemies?
Like many of the poster on here, I sympathize with you and your husband . It’s unfortunate how the two of you have been treated.No matter how much they and other people may want to justify such prejudice, in my eyes there is no justification with it.
Even though they may not accept your union,it’s their loss. If they cannot see your love for one another then maybe, you both are better off without them.
Hi everyone am a 24yrs old afraican american that is now dating an Indian. We are very fresh in our relationship and am just looking around at ppl that are dating in the same as me. I am so schocked at how we clicked…. I have an degree in psychology and now going for my masters .he has an degree with engeeniering. We do have some disagree that casuse problems one is that my mom wants me to date someone within my race.. am not sure that his family knows about me yet. but i ask about it and he tells me when the time is right then we will tell.. This whole relationship has been different but fun I haven’t had someone like this for awhile…Am opening any advice to anyone about on dating..thanks for the site!!!
I don’t know why people get so shocked when black and south asian people are together, i live in uk, and over here there are alot of west indian and east indian people mixing, so it doesnt come as a shock to people. there are lots of black and east indian couples in the west indies too. i wish you both the best.
this is the best comment I have read so far
you all are disgusting, blacks and south asians do NOT mix, i am indian and when i see this type of racial mixture i want to throw up all over the place, this is nasty
Mary (which is not your real name according to what I’ve found),
You are exactly the kind of person this blog is targeted at. I know many people question why I would put our life in such a public forum to receive feedback like yours. It’s unfortunate that ignorance like yours still exists. You are completely entitled to your opinion but what I will NOT tolerate is you calling me or my family nasty. The very fact that you have so much hate within you when you see relationships like mine and my husband’s that you want to throw up, speaks volumes about you, your upbringing and your future. I do hope that in all the throwing up all over the place that you’ve done, that you managed to throw up some of the ignorance, hate and meanness within you as well.
It is a pity you are so narrow-minded. You miss the better things in life. You should not even be reading this if you are so averse to it!What is this masochism?
Mary,
I am an Indian too who believes in centuries old concept of “Vasudhaiv kutumbkam, ” all world is a family. What a shame that you never heard about this concept. Please don’t call your self an Indian it is a shame for all of us who are proud of our Indian origins.
Peace to you.
Hi, i am a 25 yr old indian woman who is engaged to a west indian black man in the U.K. We have been together 5 years and my parents highly dissaproved when they recently found out. I have been given a choice….whether to choose them or my partner. If i choose my partner, i will be disowned and my family told me never to look back if our relationship doesn’t work in the future. I am in a really big mess right now and i do want to be with my partner. I also love my family very much and worry about their health, as it has deteriorated. Unfortunately, i do understand their point of view as to them it seems like i have betrayed them, and they think about things like what will society think, how will they cope, what will people say about them, etc….and have realised that no care has been shown towards my feelings.
@ Nimisha
I am so sorry to hear about your situation. It really seems like you are torn between two loves, your family and partner. It sounds like your family is concerned about what others will think and how they will be viewed by society. Perhaps, you could gently show them examples of other couples in your situation who have made it. Do you know any other couples? You can reassure your family that though there is discrmination the world is becoming more tolerant. In the end the decision you make you have to live with. You are an adult who has to create a life that you can live. Time is the best healing medicine. Your family loves you, in time, they will come around.
@Glenn
Thanks, Your response was very insightful.
Nimisha: Be strong. Your parents have already chosen their lives. They did not ask you for any opinion.
Follow your heart. They will come around when they see you are steadfast. People prefer strength to weakness.
Hey yol,I’m half black+half coloured(coloured) and am from South Africa.Now you know that people over here are still just getting used to change and mixture between people of different races.My gf is Indian and it’s quite a thing cuz people stare and aks stupid questions like how she feels in Bed but anyways i just wanted to say that i’m glad yol are making it happen cuz of true feelings.Please mail me on my address and who knows maybe we’ll all one day be friends.How old are yol if you don’t mind me aksing
I just came upon this site a few days ago and also wanted to comment. I am an Indian-American female (27 yrs old) and I’ve been in a relationship with an African-American male for 5 years. We are now at a place where we both feel we should know how we are going to proceed (marriage or not, even if we don’t get engaged right away), but I am still very torn. It is helpful to have this community of couples just like us, but I have been in a place of internal conflict and sadness for so long over this.
I know only I can know if it is worth it to me, so I have long stopped trying to see who feels it can work and who feels it cannot. Still, the biggest thing I struggle with is going through the process of deciding I can handle the hardships of an intercultural relationship while my parents remain against me. It is not a matter of what they THINK of me, rather they are my parents and I need their love and support. When we began our relationship, I was 22, and had the attitude of “Who cares what they think? I have to do what I want!” But unfortunately, life has taught me that (and many of the comments here have echoed this), friends will come and go and I need my family. I need their guidance as I figure out if I can deal with the differences.
It’s difficult when I have been ingrained in a culture that believes marriage is about two families coming together over similar values, lifestyles, and histories and that love is unstable and unreliable, something that will not be able to hold us together (especially with him coming from a single-parent home and a history of “broken” families). I worry a lot about the future even though I know we have a lot of love and mutual respect.
I am not sure what I am looking for out of adding my comment… I guess I just wanted to share my story
Hi,
I’m so glad that you shared your story. It’s always good to see different sides of what is virtually the same picture. I have to say one of the most poignant statements in your post was the phrase “It’s difficult when I have been ingrained in a culture that believes marriage is about two families coming together over similar values, lifestyles, and histories and that love is unstable and unreliable, something that will not be able to hold us together” I think it clearly summarizes the way arranged marriages versus “love” marriages are viewed in Indian society.
I wish you love, happiness and peace. It seems as though you have a good head on your shoulders to make the decisions that will bring you to the place you feel you need to be most. You’ve inspired me to make a post today. When I read your words, it had such a sense of matter-of-factness and resignation to it. Yet, there was underlying hope.
Thank you for stopping by the blog. I’m sending you big hugs!
@ brown
I am very touched by your sharing. Clearly you are torn between your parents expectations and your own hearts desire. This happens to many people for different reasons. For example, Catholics and Protestants, Jews and Muslims, Blacks and Whites…the list goes on and on. Romeo and Juliet was about familial disapproval of their love. At times like this I look for what true love really is or rather how someone who loves , who really loves, reacts to the basic human right to choose. Real love is patient, kind, it always protects, always trusts, always hopes and REJOICES WITH THE TRUTH. So, one must decide what is true and real love will be there. It does not have to agree with the choice, like it or approve. But real love must be kind and love the person. From what I know from others who have been in a similar situation…the disapproving family comes around…eventually!!! For they love their children. An Indian friend once told me…” Indian parents do not stay away from their children—forever!!!
Peace
Thanks so much for your response.
Regarding what you were saying about arranged marriages versus love marriages, I find it interesting to think of that theme as well. Having been raised in the US by what I always felt were very progressive Indian parents (in other ways obviously), I was given the message growing up that who I married would be my choice. But now I see that my choice is only acceptable if the man is essentially who they would have chosen for me in an arranged marriage. It’s so sad. I don’t want to give up – I told my dad (who is more open) that it would be really stupid for this to end just because of my mother, that she needs to give me the space to decide on my own what is best for me. But even with my desire to stand up to her, this situation has very much beat me down. To have this conversation with my dad after 5 years and have it be unchanged is heartbreaking to me. What advice does anyone have for those of us who face not only negative reactions from our families, but staunch opposition to the point where a parent is threatening to stop being a part of your life? I worry that my sadness over how unfair of a choice this is will impact the happiness of our relationship and likely already has…
I appreciate any thoughts! (Also, Blindian, if you have an email address for these types of conversations, I’d love to chat more.)
@brown
I completely understand where you are coming from. I am 1st generation Indian American (Gujarati/Hindu, 24 years old). I am dating a black man (28 years old). We met in graduate school. I really love my family and respect them. I know how it feels to be torn and sad about the situation.
I too wonder whether I can handle the reaction my family will have. Will I be able to handle family choosing not to be a part of my life? Part of me does get that “I do not care what other people think” sort of attitude sometimes. But when it comes to family- you do care. And more importantly, you want them to be there in the future. They give me so much support. But I also feel strongly about the man I am with.
Then there is the part of me that enjoys being me. I do not want to pretend to date or be with someone Indian to please others. I like to think that I really look at people based off their personalities. In following my family, I would not feel true to myself.
Is Indian culture that incompatible with letting anybody else in? I wonder if the culture will always hold on so tightly to their ideals/ values- even as the outside world changes.
I wish you luck in dealing with all of these emotions. I know how consuming they can become. You are right, in that, only you know what truly is the right decision. However, know that life has a funny way of making things seem okay over time. Time heals all.
Take care!
Oh! I love Kerala! God’s own country, no?! Your blog is lovely. So thoughtful and intelligent.
Best wishes! Kelly
Hi,
I am so glad that I have found your blog. I am a AA american married to a Indian. We have been married almost 5 years now. Our 5th anniversary is next month. We have a beautiful 19 month son. It is so great to see that there are other couples out there like us.
Hello Blindianlove
How are you. This is Maria Sekar, I have not talk with you in a very long time. I have been to the blog to read it several times. It would be nice to get people together that live in the same location. We can develop friendships and our own unique family. I am the african american female married to the indian tamil guy for 22 years. Wow… LOL. Peace and Blessings to all. I will participate more often…. You blog is really filling a niche….
Hello! I love your blog! Sometimes people assume that Black on White love is the only type of Interracial love there is. You’re very blessed to be so very happy!
You should check out my interracial relationships forum at http://www.milkandmocha.com. Right now it is a predominately Black woman White man community and I am trying very hard to change that. I would love a diverse crowd of people from different experiences to share in the love on our forums.
Thanks for all that you do!
Necie R