Comments for A Journey In Black and Indian Love

Comment on About by SJ

SJ — Mon, 21 May 2012 07:48:53 +0000

WOW I almost cried when I came across this blog! I am Half black and Half white and my husband is Punjabi (we were both born and raised in Canada). We have been married for 2 years this Tuesday.
We live in a part of the Toronto area that is COMPLETLY Indian! We get stared at all the time, Once an indian woman spat at my feet and called me a black whore in Punjabi, My husband went off on her while I stood there stunned, It is not like me not to tell someone off but I was so suprised that it happend I said nothing !
My Husband and I have been friends since we were 11 years old and after college we re connected and my husband told me that he has been in love with me since grade 7 we got married 2 years later in a non religous ceramony that was mostly canadian with some Punjabi traditions and food (OMG the food is SOOOOO good!)
His Mother and Sister have had no problem with our relationship and I love them like i love my own mother and Sister, His father is a good man and though he is more traditional was more worried about his Son being happy then what people were going to think. My mother and sisters and brother has no problem with him being Indian but my father was and still is dead set against this marriage. He thought that I was just a fetish for my husband and that i would end up with a few kids before he left me for an indian woman.
We have had a reallllllly hard time, I have gone to so many Indian weddings and worn beautiful Sari (which I was so scared about because I am a bigger girl) and felt the death stares, my father in laws family told him that they didnt want him to marry me because it is going to be hard to arrange marriges for their children if there is a black person in the family. we want so much to have a baby but I am scared that there will be more problems. My husband and I both decided that if we do have a baby that it will be raised christian. I told him that I didnt want them (or myself) going to the Gudwire (not sure i that is how you spell it) to be looked down apon. I was there once for a wedding and swore that only time that I would go back was for my sister in laws Wedding. I felt like a lepper!

Sorry to ramble but this is the most amazing thing to have other black woman and Indian woman that know what I am going through, I have felt really alone and your blog has given me hope that things can work.

I love my Husband, no matter if he is Indian, black , white or purple I love him because he is him and for no other reason. I just am not sure how to take all of this negativity it is killing our relationship, what do you suggest?

Comment on Drumroll Please! by Alisa

Alisa — Mon, 07 May 2012 04:57:04 +0000

Thanks for the congrats everyone. Arielle, when I said 2.5 kids I was referring to the average number of kids Americans have…it’s sort of that statistical dream family.

Comment on Drumroll Please! by Lisa

Lisa — Sun, 06 May 2012 18:28:54 +0000

Wow…. you are blessed. I wish my Blindian relationship had the same fait. I lost out to traditions and arranged marriage. I wish you love and a healthy baby.

Comment on About by andre

andre — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 00:53:57 +0000

I’m a 42 year old product of Blindian parents, and I know I am not an anomoly. I am taken for all sorts of things accept what I am. Good luck to you beautiful folks.

Comment on Drumroll Please! by ann

ann — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 03:39:03 +0000

I just thought I would drop in to see if you had blog lately and you did.

Congratulations. How excited M is? Awww, he or she is going to be so adorable.

I bet the twins cannot wait for there new sister or brother. I am sure all of the

grandparents are very excited. LOL, store some sleep for later.

Ann

Comment on Drumroll Please! by Arielle

Arielle — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 21:46:50 +0000

Ahhh man..congratulations to the both of you your pregnancy. When I read you last story, I was curious because you’ve mentioned about having 2.5 kids .I didn’t ask about it as I didn’t want to appear like I was nosy. I also will congratulate you both on your wedding anniversary.May you both be blessed with many more years of marital bliss.

Comment on About by tara powell

tara powell — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 00:34:01 +0000

Hi
I’ve been reading your blog for a long time now. I thank you on your insights and I’m happy to say I have found love from India also! I have always been close to the Indian culture. It calls to me I’m so familiar with the people the colors, lol the food! I have dated a few Indian men who were very honest in their saying that they will Marry only within their culture as if I automatically wanted to marry them. I’ve had a fear of marriage but for a progressive Indian man I will make an exception! Not that I do not understand and champion the end of struggles for black men I find myself needing more of a diverse ideology. Like I said India has always called to me maybe because of my Indian ancestor. My mom said from the day I was born my Indian doctor took me around the hospital with her when I was born. Maybe that started it. Ok I digress I’m writing you to share in my joy that I have found the one I can’t live without! I met him online and never paid attention to him because I was talking to another Indian guy who I thought was the one. Well as time passed and messages here and there we started talking more and more. I realized this guy is smart and practical and does not get bogged down in traditions. He does not abide by the normal Indian culture that he must marry who his family likes and that he must conduct his life according to his family. I ask him on several occasions what would his family say about him being with a black woman and his reply..what can they say. His mom wants him to be happy even though I’m not sure if he has told her we plan to marry. I however will respect how he wants to do and I will not push it! He is honest I can see it in his eyes and all I want to do is be a good wife because we are already friends. This is as real love gets, my Sandy ( what we call him) has gone from India to Dubai and we have not missed a beat in messages and Skype. I cannot describe the feeling of knowing that you have found your life partner even though I haven’t even felt his heartbeat. I know it beats for me and I can see it when he can’t stop smiling before a word is spoken on a video call! We have started the paperwork for us to get a waiver and for him to come on a k2 visa. Well It is coming even the fact that I already have two children does not even phase him! I know he will be a good father considering the advice I get grinned thousands of miles away! He loves me and I love him and our story I hope can inspire others as yours and M story has inspired me! Thank you so much you have no idea of the hope your story has given a doubtful girl! I will keep you posted on when he gets here but honestly I will go where ever he is. Lol

Comment on About by Mz 8612

Mz 8612 — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 04:06:19 +0000

Thank you so much for this blog. I’m truly inspired by your journey. I’m an African American woman who has been with my Pakistani-Indian boyfriend for over 5 years. We plan to marry and thankfully both of our parents support us moving forward. We are having anxiety for the future because we are worried about “how are we going to do this” and “what if…” Seeing this blog makes me feel hopeful and secure about our future. I guess you can’t assume the challenges you will or will not have, and some things you just have to learn as you go.
Thank you.

Comment on An Ode to a Special Father by nish

nish — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 20:16:52 +0000

lovely…n nice to read dat such peple- father exists…

Comment on About by Stella

Stella — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 01:15:04 +0000

I’m a black woman living in the UK. I stumbled across your blog and was so happy to read about you and your husband. I have been dating a Bengali guy for the last nine months. Alas, we will not get our happy ending! His parents have demanded he marries someone from his own culture and are organising an arranged marriage for him! He does not want an arranged marriage and has avoided one, thus far. However, given his age, he is considered “old” and his parents gave pressurised him into complying with their wishes. This is so sad, as I am a professional woman, with my own home and income and in some circles, I would be considered a good catch! We really want to be together, but his culture and family are stronger than his feelings for me. Good luck to you both and I hope have a long, happy marriage.