Comments for A Journey In Black and Indian Love http://blindianlove.com A Peek inside the marriage of an African American woman and her East Indian spouse Tue, 27 Jul 2010 22:49:27 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ Comment on That Pesky Skin Tone Issue by indiangirl http://blindianlove.com/2009/04/02/that-pesky-skin-tone-issue/#comment-983 indiangirl Tue, 27 Jul 2010 22:49:27 +0000 http://blindianlove.wordpress.com/?p=50#comment-983 Liked this video. It brought up a very relevant issue. Having been one of very few Indian people in many of the areas in the U.S. that I lived (when I was growing up), I was often very conscious of being darker than other people. But as a young adult, I always felt I looked better w/ a little more sun. So I actually went to tanning salons for awhile to get browner. Of course, this is unhealthy, so I don't do that anymore. But I'm still a fan of brown skin, & I think that attitudes have changed a bit w/ the younger generation of Indian Americans. I think attitudes are starting to change in India, as well (as evidenced by the increased # of Bollywood actresses that are not light-skinned). BTW, the model in the video w/ the nose ring & brown skin was absolutely lovely. It's amazing to me that anyone would think that she would look better w/ lighter skin. Her skin color is part of her beauty. Liked this video. It brought up a very relevant issue. Having been one of very few Indian people in many of the areas in the U.S. that I lived (when I was growing up), I was often very conscious of being darker than other people. But as a young adult, I always felt I looked better w/ a little more sun. So I actually went to tanning salons for awhile to get browner. Of course, this is unhealthy, so I don’t do that anymore. But I’m still a fan of brown skin, & I think that attitudes have changed a bit w/ the younger generation of Indian Americans. I think attitudes are starting to change in India, as well (as evidenced by the increased # of Bollywood actresses that are not light-skinned).
BTW, the model in the video w/ the nose ring & brown skin was absolutely lovely. It’s amazing to me that anyone would think that she would look better w/ lighter skin. Her skin color is part of her beauty.

]]> Comment on Indian Movies by msechelle1 http://blindianlove.com/2009/04/19/indian-movies/#comment-981 msechelle1 Sun, 25 Jul 2010 16:00:37 +0000 http://blindianlove.com/?p=135#comment-981 I just watched "The Other End of The Line" Some may say it is corny but I love this movie. It is what triggered me to search the web for information about AA and Indian relationships (dating). I am an AA women and have been approached by several Indian men in the past. And funny enough I never took them seriously because I know that they dont usually date or marry outside of their race. So thank you for this blog...It has been about 3 hours now and I have read every post up until now. I just watched “The Other End of The Line” Some may say it is corny but I love this movie. It is what triggered me to search the web for information about AA and Indian relationships (dating). I am an AA women and have been approached by several Indian men in the past. And funny enough I never took them seriously because I know that they dont usually date or marry outside of their race. So thank you for this blog…It has been about 3 hours now and I have read every post up until now.

]]> Comment on Black + Indian=Blindian by Vanessa http://blindianlove.com/2010/06/01/black-indianblindian/#comment-974 Vanessa Mon, 12 Jul 2010 00:51:10 +0000 http://blindianlove.com/?p=309#comment-974 Wow, The idea of keeping an interracial relationship secret physically hurts me. It's so sad that people feel the need to do that in 2010. I have been in several interracial relationships, but they were mostly with white men who were clueless about their own ethnicity, like "Tim, where are your ancestors from?" "Uh, somewhere in Europe I guess." But, I have to say I am against arranged marriages. I think that even if both sides are OK with it, there is a certain amount to pressure involved. And, getting married seems to be stressful enough. Wow,
The idea of keeping an interracial relationship secret physically hurts me. It’s so sad that people feel the need to do that in 2010. I have been in several interracial relationships, but they were mostly with white men who were clueless about their own ethnicity, like “Tim, where are your ancestors from?” “Uh, somewhere in Europe I guess.” But, I have to say I am against arranged marriages. I think that even if both sides are OK with it, there is a certain amount to pressure involved. And, getting married seems to be stressful enough.

]]> Comment on Black + Indian=Blindian by Desi Choices: Or Else « A Desi Girl's Guide to Relationship Survival http://blindianlove.com/2010/06/01/black-indianblindian/#comment-947 Desi Choices: Or Else « A Desi Girl's Guide to Relationship Survival Sun, 04 Jul 2010 00:33:57 +0000 http://blindianlove.com/?p=309#comment-947 [...] really fuming after I read this. IHM has initiated several discussions over women’s choice and blindianlove is talking about choice of love or arranged marriage. All discussions about choice essentially come [...] [...] really fuming after I read this. IHM has initiated several discussions over women’s choice and blindianlove is talking about choice of love or arranged marriage. All discussions about choice essentially come [...]

]]> Comment on Indians and “They” by Abhiwin http://blindianlove.com/2010/04/20/indians-and-they/#comment-946 Abhiwin Thu, 01 Jul 2010 18:43:53 +0000 http://blindianlove.com/?p=307#comment-946 Wow! ... This is refreshing ... Never thought it could happen :) ... okay kidding but still ... an IR relationship between an AA and an Indian ... I bet he's a hoot at the 'sasuraal' :D But seriously .. I am an Indian guy (who unfortunately lives in India) and believe me I call everyone 'They' ... The thing is India really cannot be called a single country ... You can travel 500 kilometres from one place and be introduced to a completely new culture (and i mean COMPLETELY NEW... as in different food .... different clothing... different language )and lots of blindly patriotic Indians think this is a good thing which it OBVIOUSLY isn't coz we end up being so different .... Ask M what the southern Indians are called ... 'Madrasis' ... thats one HUGE stereotype ... thats like calling every American a redneck (including the black people) ... and in southern india the northerners are called Northies ...Everyone stereotypes EVERYONE else here ... thats why you here the they's and we's .... We end up diversifying ourselves when it comes to the negative observations and unifying ourselves when we're talking about something positive ... Wow! … This is refreshing … Never thought it could happen :) … okay kidding but still … an IR relationship between an AA and an Indian … I bet he’s a hoot at the ‘sasuraal’ :D

But seriously .. I am an Indian guy (who unfortunately lives in India) and believe me I call everyone ‘They’ … The thing is India really cannot be called a single country … You can travel 500 kilometres from one place and be introduced to a completely new culture (and i mean COMPLETELY NEW… as in different food …. different clothing… different language )and lots of blindly patriotic Indians think this is a good thing which it OBVIOUSLY isn’t coz we end up being so different …. Ask M what the southern Indians are called … ‘Madrasis’ … thats one HUGE stereotype … thats like calling every American a redneck (including the black people) … and in southern india the northerners are called Northies …Everyone stereotypes EVERYONE else here … thats why you here the they’s and we’s …. We end up diversifying ourselves when it comes to the negative observations and unifying ourselves when we’re talking about something positive …

]]> Comment on Black + Indian=Blindian by shreejacob http://blindianlove.com/2010/06/01/black-indianblindian/#comment-945 shreejacob Mon, 28 Jun 2010 06:24:40 +0000 http://blindianlove.com/?p=309#comment-945 Hi! I'm a Ceylonese and promised myself never to get into a relationship with a man from the same race! - because of personal experiences that made me view the men from my own race as well......not very nice! However, I ended up marrying a Ceylonese and now I'm waiting for my divorce to get finalised. I guess you would call it a "love marriage"...but what it also tells me is that it really doesn't matter what race or religion your significant other is, as long as there is mutual respect of each other's values and we treat each other as how we would like to be treated: with love, respect, compassion and understanding. One of the comments mentioned that the reason why divorce or separation in arranged marriages may be less could be that the families and the community won't allow it, and I agree with that. However, on the other hand, I have heard of arranged marriages working out really well too! In my round about way, I guess I want to say that regardless of it being a love marriage or an arranged marriage, marriage within your own kind or not, it really comes down to the individuals involved. Do you take the other for who they are, do you respect the other as a human being with feelings , strengths and weakness and do you love and care for them ; and do you or don't you allow yourself to be influenced by those that only put your relationship down. Love your postings and the way you write them. It's very insightful and you have a calm way of writing!! Hi! I’m a Ceylonese and promised myself never to get into a relationship with a man from the same race! – because of personal experiences that made me view the men from my own race as well……not very nice!

However, I ended up marrying a Ceylonese and now I’m waiting for my divorce to get finalised. I guess you would call it a “love marriage”…but what it also tells me is that it really doesn’t matter what race or religion your significant other is, as long as there is mutual respect of each other’s values and we treat each other as how we would like to be treated: with love, respect, compassion and understanding.

One of the comments mentioned that the reason why divorce or separation in arranged marriages may be less could be that the families and the community won’t allow it, and I agree with that. However, on the other hand, I have heard of arranged marriages working out really well too!

In my round about way, I guess I want to say that regardless of it being a love marriage or an arranged marriage, marriage within your own kind or not, it really comes down to the individuals involved.

Do you take the other for who they are, do you respect the other as a human being with feelings , strengths and weakness and do you love and care for them ; and do you or don’t you allow yourself to be influenced by those that only put your relationship down.

Love your postings and the way you write them. It’s very insightful and you have a calm way of writing!!

]]> Comment on How It All Began-The Journey of Our Love by Jane Ignacio http://blindianlove.com/2009/03/30/how-it-all-began-the-journey-of-our-love/#comment-944 Jane Ignacio Sun, 27 Jun 2010 11:57:46 +0000 http://blindianlove.wordpress.com/?p=7#comment-944 Thank you for your blogs. I do get inspirations from your blogs and other bloggers sharing their relationship with an Indian man. I am also in a state of Loving an indian man. thank you so much. Thank you for your blogs. I do get inspirations from your blogs and other bloggers sharing their relationship with an Indian man. I am also in a state of Loving an indian man. thank you so much.

]]> Comment on About by Necie Reed http://blindianlove.com/about/#comment-943 Necie Reed Sun, 20 Jun 2010 17:25:55 +0000 #comment-943 Hello! I love your blog! Sometimes people assume that Black on White love is the only type of Interracial love there is. You're very blessed to be so very happy! You should check out my interracial relationships forum at www.milkandmocha.com. Right now it is a predominately Black woman White man community and I am trying very hard to change that. I would love a diverse crowd of people from different experiences to share in the love on our forums. Thanks for all that you do! Necie R Hello! I love your blog! Sometimes people assume that Black on White love is the only type of Interracial love there is. You’re very blessed to be so very happy!

You should check out my interracial relationships forum at http://www.milkandmocha.com. Right now it is a predominately Black woman White man community and I am trying very hard to change that. I would love a diverse crowd of people from different experiences to share in the love on our forums.

Thanks for all that you do!

Necie R

]]> Comment on Black + Indian=Blindian by girlsguidetosurvival http://blindianlove.com/2010/06/01/black-indianblindian/#comment-941 girlsguidetosurvival Fri, 18 Jun 2010 21:42:50 +0000 http://blindianlove.com/?p=309#comment-941 Marriage from times immemorials is basically an economic exchange between families and communities. The concept of marriage for love is relatively very new. Even in Europe until 100-150 years ago marriages were arranged between people of similar economic background read social class. Desi marriages are mostly arranged as it is definitely the family looking for a woman to adjust and assimilate with their temprament rather than finding a wife for their son. Personal compatibility is the last thing on their mind. It all begins with the family's social standing- name, reputation, class etc. Followed by woman's complexion, physical attributes. When families invest in feeding five hundred guests they make it sure the couple especially the woman does not balk. http://girlsguidetosurvival.wordpress.com/2010/06/17/desi-marriage-eligible-or-ineligible-question/ I often see how couples want call it quits but can't because the other family members and fear faceless strangers gossiping prevents them from doing so. Many marriages have lasted 30-40 years because quiting was not an option. Because they have lasted decades does not mean they are functional marriages. No matter what ethnicity or nationality two people are they cannot strike it together unless they share basic regards for humans and treat each other with kindness and compassion. Peace, Desi Girl Marriage from times immemorials is basically an economic exchange between families and communities. The concept of marriage for love is relatively very new. Even in Europe until 100-150 years ago marriages were arranged between people of similar economic background read social class.

Desi marriages are mostly arranged as it is definitely the family looking for a woman to adjust and assimilate with their temprament rather than finding a wife for their son. Personal compatibility is the last thing on their mind. It all begins with the family’s social standing- name, reputation, class etc. Followed by woman’s complexion, physical attributes. When families invest in feeding five hundred guests they make it sure the couple especially the woman does not balk.

http://girlsguidetosurvival.wordpress.com/2010/06/17/desi-marriage-eligible-or-ineligible-question/

I often see how couples want call it quits but can’t because the other family members and fear faceless strangers gossiping prevents them from doing so. Many marriages have lasted 30-40 years because quiting was not an option. Because they have lasted decades does not mean they are functional marriages.

No matter what ethnicity or nationality two people are they cannot strike it together unless they share basic regards for humans and treat each other with kindness and compassion.

Peace,

Desi Girl

]]> Comment on Indians and “They” by FaithfulGirl http://blindianlove.com/2010/04/20/indians-and-they/#comment-940 FaithfulGirl Fri, 18 Jun 2010 04:11:54 +0000 http://blindianlove.com/?p=307#comment-940 Blindian, I am new to your blog and I am very relieved that I came across it while doing research on IR couples. It is quite refreshing to actually be able to read experiences from an AA and Indian couple..especially a couple that is married! I have been in a relationship with an Indian guy for nearly a year and we are madly in love..yes we are battling issues right now because his family does not accept it but hopefully we will make it through this and he will choose to marry for love and because he is in love with me. But anywho! I have noticed that when me and him converse he refers to other Indians as "they" and "them" because he says "they" are not like him and the Indians within his culture. It is obvious to me that each Indian culture holds their culture as superior to the other cultures regardless of their financial status and whatever else it may be. It seems to be somewhat of a prejudice I guess you could say that Indians have not only in regards to those of their culture dating outside of their culture to any other cultures outside of their culture. But that is just a way of life...which is sad...its not only Indian cultures that hold their culture as superior to other cultures but its all. I look forward to hearing more about your story and your life! May God bless you and the life that you have with your children and husband! Hopefully in a few years I will be able to share a story that will be influential to other IR couples. Blindian,
I am new to your blog and I am very relieved that I came across it while doing research on IR couples. It is quite refreshing to actually be able to read experiences from an AA and Indian couple..especially a couple that is married! I have been in a relationship with an Indian guy for nearly a year and we are madly in love..yes we are battling issues right now because his family does not accept it but hopefully we will make it through this and he will choose to marry for love and because he is in love with me. But anywho! I have noticed that when me and him converse he refers to other Indians as “they” and “them” because he says “they” are not like him and the Indians within his culture. It is obvious to me that each Indian culture holds their culture as superior to the other cultures regardless of their financial status and whatever else it may be. It seems to be somewhat of a prejudice I guess you could say that Indians have not only in regards to those of their culture dating outside of their culture to any other cultures outside of their culture. But that is just a way of life…which is sad…its not only Indian cultures that hold their culture as superior to other cultures but its all. I look forward to hearing more about your story and your life! May God bless you and the life that you have with your children and husband! Hopefully in a few years I will be able to share a story that will be influential to other IR couples.

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