A Journey In Black and Indian Love

A Peek inside the marriage of an African American woman and her East Indian spouse

Natural Born February 11, 2011

Filed under: intercultural relationships — Alisa @ 1:42 am
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Several months ago, I wrote a blog about hair I titled “Isn’t it All Good Hair?” At the time, I was simply musing about how intrinsically we connect who we are with our hair. At the time I made a comment about how I was contemplating going natural after having seen Chris Rock’s documentary “Good Hair.”  For those of you who may be unclear about what I mean by going “natural,”  I simply mean that I no longer use chemicals to straighten or modify my hair from its God given state. 

People go natural for many reasons. Some make the decision as part of a journey to connect more with one’s cultural background.  Others do it as part of a healthier hair regimen.  At the beginning of my journey, I fell into the latter category. I felt my hair was beginning to thin and wasn’t as healthy as it could have been. After several months of  cleverly disguising my curly locks meeting the chemically straightened locks I was still clinging to, I finally decided to do the “big chop.”   I cut all of the remaining chemically straightened hair. I was horrified.  The first three days after I cut it,  I felt completely naked. It was as though people could see my insides.  It was scary.

M loved and still loves the look. He said he never could understand why I didn’t leave it curly anyway.  I could go into a long individual post about the whole “European influence” of wanting straight, silky hair but I won’t. What I will say is that this journey has made me question things about myself that I never have before.  On a particularly bad hair day I bemoaned to M about how I didn’t think I was going to be able to go chemical free much longer.  He  looked at me, rolled his eyes and said ” what a life.” I  knew what he meant. We had many discussions about how my fear of messing up that prized silky chemical laden hair really prevented me from having some free moments in life. Instead of reveling in the warm raindrops of summer, I was running to avoid the drops. Instead of  letting the waters of the Caribbean, Arabian Sea, and the Gulf wash over my body, I tried to float with my head out of the water. It’s funny now to think back to some of these moments but they are also very sad because I realize these are the lessons I’m casting upon to my daughter–the baggage of not being happy with what God us.  One day recently, I wondered if our constant need to change our physical ourselves  is like saying quietly that God didn’t know what he was doing when he made us. Afterall, he gave us these wonderful locks of hair ranging from bone straight to thick waves. 

Shout outs to reader Truth who suggested Kinky Curly and Carol’s Daughter products to me.  Ironically enough, I have tried both of these and had forgotten you had even suggested them. I love love love Kinky Curly products. Kinky Curly is now in Target. It’s a hot commodity here and stays sold out.  The CD curl milk is okay. I really need to go back and give it another try now that I know how to really apply the products the way I need to.

I’ve posted a pic of the resulting big chop. The journey continues. Until the next blog my lovelies!

 

 
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