A Journey In Black and Indian Love

A Peek inside the marriage of an African American woman and her East Indian spouse

Blending-How the Heck do You Do It April 1, 2009

The recipe for a successful culturally mixed marriage varies from day to day. I wholeheartedly believe that on some days M probably wonders how he wound up with me because I often wonder the same thing. That’s not always a bad thing.

However, there are some days where we are so culturally far apart that it places us on two seperate islands. For example, when Katt Williams makes a joke based on African American stereotypes, I get it and find it hilarious. M often needs me to explain the joke (although he’s getting better about this) which sometimes just takes the humor out of the joke. You ever had one of those moments with someone? By the time you explain what’s supposed to be funny, it’s no longer gut busting laughter anymore.  In moments like these, I feel we are strangers on opposite sides of the street because it makes me feel for a brief moment that maybe he doesn’t “get” me.

But then I remember why I fell in love with him and it makes moments like the one above seem so small. Quick example. While in Delhi, my son was running a pretty high temp and needed some motrin since the tylenol wasn’t working. The monsoon rains were coming down like mad. Our driver was no where to be found and there were no rickshaws in the area. Against my protests, M made the decision to walk in torrential rains to Apollo Hospital to get the medication he needed. It took him nearly two hours to walk the two miles to the hospital and back but he did it and never thought twice about the magnitude of what he had done. I knew then that I made the right choice.

I realize that often, those of us in intercultural relationships can easily blame problems on being because the SO is from another country but we have to be careful about doing that because if we’re honest with ourselves, I’ll bet we would find that the very same relationship problems can be found in non mixed relationships. Think about it.  Until the next blog.  


One Response to “Blending-How the Heck do You Do It”

  1. jamily5 Says:

    Yes, I agree! Many times Culture or religion is blamed for what might just be a personality flaw or just a typical marriage difference.

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