A Journey In Black and Indian Love

A Peek inside the marriage of an African American woman and her East Indian spouse

A Fresh Blog Post. Hot Off the Presses. May 3, 2009

I’m finally back with a fresh blog post. The week has been very very busy and I had not found the time to write. Hubby has been promising to guest write for me but so far that hasn’t happened. Every time I ask him about it, he says he’s still thinking about what he is going to write about. Let’s all collectively roll eyes on that.

After three years of trying to get M realize that not everyone in any one race is the same, twice this week when I was telling him about a negative situation that happened (one involving a check from a customer for our business), he automatically asked “was it a black person?”  His question gave me pause and made me ask him why he automatically assumed it was a black person that was involved in something negative. He didn’t have an answer for me, other than to say “I was just curious.”

Now mind you, M and I have had many discussions about why crime rates may be higher in some areas than others or why there are so many black on black murders etc. We’ve talked about the socioeconomic connections and educational factors that contribute to downtrodden. But somehow, I don’t think he’s grasped it all. Even now after all of this time being here in the states, he hasn’t connected with many other blacks apart from my family (or Indians either for that matter…come to think about it.. he hasn’t connected with anyone).  He needs to be able to experience people of all races from all walks of life so that he can see that there’s not just one type of person in any ethnic group. I really want him to get to a point where he recognizes that crime has no face and no racial group is immune from being the victim of a crime or committing one.

Shifting the topic to one more positive, on Friday the kids had their Spring Fling. I was so excited because I saw more mixed couples there than I had seen in the entire city we live in. Other than M and myself, there were at least four other couples I saw that night and they were all openly engaged with one another and small amounts of PDA.  It shows the grand old south where we live is changing its guard a bit. I like that.

Okay guys, I’m going to keep this one short. I’m a bit under the weather and my bed is calling me for a nap. Until the next blog. …

 

Oh by the way.. some comments I haven’t yet gotten a chance to respond to  yet but I will later this evening.

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8 Responses to “A Fresh Blog Post. Hot Off the Presses.”

  1. honorarynewfie Says:

    Hi B,

    The man needs a hobby 😉 Something that will get him out of the house and mixing with people.

    Or get him to take the kids to some school “event” on his own. Don’t push too hard, but maybe you could be “unavoidably” double-booked at some time so that he has to do it 😉

    BTW, showing my ignorance here, what does PDA stand for in this context ? (I’m British and know nothing)

    Hope you’re feeling better soon.

    Tom

  2. Maria Says:

    I forgot to mention in my previous comment. I too, am interested in the voice over business. I am a returning
    student in the field of Radio, TV and Film.

    Please email me directly, when you have an opporunity.
    I appreciate it.

    -Maria

  3. blindianlove Says:

    Tom,
    You’re right, he does need a hobby..one that’s more sociable than his reading and Sodoku. LoL. I should be grateful. Many women can’t keep their husbands at home so I shouldn’t complain. He already cooks and picks up the kids from school in the afternoon. However, when he’s out he prefers to be an observer. However, I’ve got to think of something to kick his social skills up a notch. LOL

    PDA=Public Display of Affection.

    Maria,
    The blog has been much much better and I hear from a much wider range of people. I’ll email you the info about the voiceover stuff. We’ve got a class coming up on June 6.

  4. blindianlove Says:

    Oh and Tom, thanks for the get well wishes.

  5. Gori Girl Says:

    Aditya says the same thing about guest-blogging at my site!! A year and change, and he’s only been able to come up with one post… *shakes head*

    • blindianlove Says:

      LOL Gori Girl. At least you got him to guest post. M keeps promising me that it’s coming but so far I have only empty promises. He keeps telling me that he’s still thinking of what he will write. Perhaps I will withhold his favorite food until I can get a guest post ..hehehe.

  6. diverse Says:

    I agree with you.

    I’m from a diverse area and upbringing . Along with diverse upbringing, my folks raised my siblings and me to judge people by their character. Everytime that we met a new non-Black person, I didn’t think of them as my White or Asian friend because that wasn’t the first thing that I noticed when I met them( even though I knew that they looked different from me. I only described them as lighter skinned /Darker skinned. That was before I knew anything about race). I’m glad that I was raised in this manner. I remembered seeing the good, bad and the ugly from some of everybody. Otherwise, I would have have looked at people as stereotypes instead of who they truly are.

    My brother in law is like that. He’ll tell you the only people he was exposed to was around his grandparents and never went outside of his perimeter In Charlotte,North Carolina. All he wants to do was talk about/listening to anything negative in the Black community.If my nephews want to go to the comic book store, he always go that is located in the Black community( actually a bookstore, I only know of one that is there but he didn’t go to that one) opposed to the one that is in a mixed community, but the boys didn’t want to go there because the one that we usually go to has a lot more things to offer than that one.

    My BIL wants people to think that there is no good in anything. One of my nephews attend a very mixed school and he seems to love it. He’s always telling me something new about it. Along with his exposure to mixed people, he also been exposed to the facts of the Black community. Some people think that his mom is trying to excommunicate him from Black people. No, that isn’t the case. Her job is why he’s going there. On top of that, she’s happy that he’s being exposed to the ” real world” kiddie style and being academically challenged. She don’t put her thoughts on him. He has his own opinions about people ,places and things and whatever he thinks about them is his own thoughts.

    I think that it would be good idea if your husband got out a little more. If there is anything I’ve learned about it is that if you live in a glass box, you only see your perspectives out of it, which may not be for the better. MY BIL wasn’t exposed to the real world.As I previously mentioned ,his world only consisted of him hanging with his grandparents and staying in his perimeter in the his Black community. I’m also troubled about all of his negatives of the Black community. He acts as if everything in the Black community is bad. Yes, we do have problems in our community that needs to be fixed, but there also are a lot Black people who have overcame a lot of odds and are doing just fine. To pretend that there is no racism in this world would be a lie, but how one handles it will make/break you. IN BIL’s case, he is being broken.

  7. acajou Says:

    I’ve had that moment w my bf too, I don’t shove history down his throat but when it comes up, I use it as moments to educate on the hows and when’s. People of all,backgrounds do things ans have unsavory characters, but I believe the negative points of those of us of African descent are front and center thanks to the media, and the things going on in our communities usually have historical reference, not that I’m saying this is an excuse.

    I just mean noone would paint whites as being dangerous bcs most serial killers or hate,groups are,or bcs,they are likely to shoot up a school.,they are given the benefit of.the doubt

    Your husband and yourself are about the same lovely shade imo, I am a darker mocha toned woman and my bf who is Indian is only a shade or two lighter, I sometimes forget that even though he’s a man of color that he in fact doesn’t understand the nuances of race and my experiences as a black woman from the deep south. And he probably doesnt understand the racial dynamic that exists the way I do, although he has told me things,that insists he does know alot.

    It’s a learning experience. I am so glad you take the time to share your experiences w us and particularly this cultural mix of east Indian and black.


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