A Journey In Black and Indian Love

A Peek inside the marriage of an African American woman and her East Indian spouse

Breaking the Ice with Mom in law May 13, 2009

Sorry I’ve been delayed with the latest blog post. I spent the weekend working in the backyard and preparing our first mini garden.  The kids are excited about the possibilities of the fruits of their labor.

M and the kids treated me to a really nice mother’s day. I got breakfast in bed with orange cranberry muffins, bacon and fruit. I also got cards, flowers and the opportunity to sleep in, which if you are a parent, you know is an absolutely priceless gift. I didn’t get a chance to see my own mother even though we live less than two miles away from one another. She was out doing her own thing. We did take her gift to her on Saturday. We’re up to a record number of words between she and M. I think they passed around 15 words instead of their usual five.

I don’t think M and my mother will ever have the kind of relationship that she and my ex had and still have. I understand they are two totally different men but the chemistry is definitely far more different than I feel it should be.

M is always on edge around my mother. I think that comes from his knowledge of her previous disapproval of our relationship. Their conversation never goes beyond Hello how are you. This bothers me because there is no extension on either of their parts to get to know the other better.  I know that she no longer dislikes M. She knows that he is a good dad and that he’s good to me.

I do think my mother is more interested than she pretends to be. I’ve heard her mention a few things that indicated she’s been doing research on the culture. Initially she thought M was going make me wear an abaya and bow to him and all of his requests. LOL.. Brahahahaha she doesn’t know her daughter very well.

I’ve invited my mother to come to India with us in December but she is basically refusing. It is my dream that my family and M’s can one day break bread together. Right now the dream seems so far off.

On other brief updates. I’ve finally decided what I’m doing for my 35th. I’m having a friends and family weekend in Gatlinburg. Laughter, fun, games, river rafting, shopping and bbqing are all on tap. Given some things going on right now I felt the need to be surrounded by those I love the most.  I’m looking forward to a new year.

Until the next blog….

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5 Responses to “Breaking the Ice with Mom in law”

  1. Gori Girl Says:

    Glad to hear you had a good mother’s day!

    Now that we’re living on the East coast, Aditya and I really need to get around to seeing all the sites around here. The Smokey Mountains are definitely on the list.

    • blindianlove Says:

      Gori Girl.
      I love the Smokies. My favorite time to go is in the fall and winter. In the fall, the foliage colors are unbelievable (when there has been enough rain).. in the winter it’s quite romantic to curl up in front of a fire place with a good cup of hot chocolate and watch the snow fall.

  2. Rachel Winter Says:

    Hi, my name is Rachel Winter and I am a year 13 student at Marlborough Girls’ College in Blenheim, New Zealand. I am currently doing an assessment for my media class which involves me writing an article on something I am passionate about.

    The subject I have chosen to write about is how inter-racial marriages are harder to be involved in and the challenges that arise from having to learn a new culture or even language for the one you love. I am looking for sources who have had first hand experience in either an inter-racial marriage or have dealt with this topic in anyway.

    Would you be prepared to answer some questions in the near future or do you know of anyone that I could talk to and question?

    Thank you for your time.

    Rachel Winter

    • blindianlove Says:

      Rachel,
      I would be more than happy to help you. I’ve also posted your comment in the event there are others who would be willing to help you with your school project. I also know of other couples which may be willing to help you.

  3. Viajera Says:

    I am currently struggling with the same problem: How to get my family to accept the new love in my life. I think it is a long, road. It will also be a difficult one if my family members do not also make an effort to include the new person in our family. I hope it works out for you and you make some progress with your Mom.


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