A Journey In Black and Indian Love

A Peek inside the marriage of an African American woman and her East Indian spouse

The Part of Parenthood No one Discusses October 6, 2009

My babies are sick. My sweet little angels are running fevers and fighting off the flu. This is the part of parenthood that no one talks about much.

The dads (Papa and Daddy for new readers) and I feel horrible We can’t transfer their pain and make them feel better even though our insides ache to see their discomfort.  To make matters worst for them, they had a field trip tomorrow that they had been looking forward to for a month. They can’t go because they have not yet been fever free for 24 hours and even if they were, I can still tell they feel pretty puny so they still would be home.

I know I’m not the only parent going through this right now and it’s certainly not the first time my kids have been sick. However, as a parent it never gets easier to see your kids not feel well. I’m using the hand sanitizer and clorox wipes every other minute. To all of you who have managed to remain healthy, be careful. This stuff hits you out of the blue with a force you don’t expect. Until the next time my lovelies…



6 Responses to “The Part of Parenthood No one Discusses”

  1. Shelley Says:

    Oooooh, I hope they both feel better…..Shelley 🙂

  2. Stacey Says:

    Awwww. Hopefully by now they are feeling much better. I hate getting sick and thank God I hardly ever come down with a cold or influenza. One thing I do that I’m sure has been helping me, I take a vitamin C pill every morning along with calcium (don’t like multi vitamins) because I don’t intake the proper amount of nutrients.

    • blindianlove Says:

      Thanks Shelley and Stacy. They are both doing much better. I’m thankful for that. The kids take the daily gummy vitamins. For the most part they stay pretty healthy. Unfortunately, there was apparently a crud going around the school that was wiping out whole classes according to the pediatrician. I’m glad things are relatively back to normal.

  3. Mona Says:

    Hi, recently discovered your site. Love the name, “Blindian,” b/c it’s a word I started using on my own some time ago (even though my husband doesn’t like it, for some reason). Now I see that others are using it too.
    I’m East Indian (born in Mumbai, raised in the US), & my husband’s Afro-Caribbean. Sorry to hear your kids have been sick; unfortunately it’s the season. My 2 yo is in the midst of a similar episode.
    I like reading about some of the cross-cultural experiences you go through, although they’re a bit different from mine, given my husband’s Caribbean backgrnd. Also, like seeing pics. Take care.

  4. blindianlove Says:

    HI Mona,
    Thanks for the post. I would love to hear the flip part of the coin in relationships like ours. How did your family react to you all becoming involved with one another? What part of the country are you all in now?

    I hope your son is feeling better!

    • Mona Says:

      Hi, sorry for the delay in reply. I hadn’t checked in for a while. I have a little girl; she’s fine, but always sick sinced starting preschool. We live in TX now. We dated for over 4 yrs before marriage & have been married 12 yrs. My parents didn’t know we were dating for most of the time. Once they knew we were dating, they gave me a very hard time, but I had just finished college and no longer financially dependent. I just stood my ground, we had a long distance relationship for awhile, then got married. Once we were already married, they chose to accept, although my mom was angry at first. I think much of that anger is that my mom was previously used to getting her way, & she didn’t like that I didn’t tell her about us dating for a long time. But within a couple of yrs, things settled down quite a bit. At this point, things are quite comfortable between them and us. They adore my daughter more than anything, and they respect my husband. Things aren’t perfect. But I think most of the time someone gets annoyed at someone else in our family, it almost never has to do w/ serious cultural differences, but more w/ habits or personalities. Most of my extended family is in India, so I don’t worry too much about their opinions on this, but they’ve always been courteous to my husband on the phone and on the occasion he visited. I have no idea if they comment on us behind my back, but I don’t worry too much about it. I say, “Nobody else pays my bills” (except maybe my husband), so they don’t have a right to comment. I hope the family that you’re closest to is accepting towards him, and I hope you’re able to not be too upset by people you are not as close to who don’t accept him. Hope your thanksgiving was blessed!

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