A Journey In Black and Indian Love

A Peek inside the marriage of an African American woman and her East Indian spouse

A Little Help From My Blogging Friends November 11, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Alisa @ 9:33 pm

As I’m sure you all can tell, I’m relatively new to the whole blogging thing. As I visit some of your sites, they are so nice and functional with all of these cool little embedded links and stuff (Big shout out to Gori Girl on this one-She even has chat!!)

So because I love to learn and because I want people to have the desire to visit the page again and again without being bored, I’d like your help on learning how to do some of the cool things I see on other blogs. Any tips any of you could provide (email or via the comments link), would be appreciated.  I hope you all are enjoying the blog.

P.S. One thing I want to do is be able to have some of my favorite blogs show up on the right side of my page so that other readers can enjoy them. Now since I put the stat counter on there today, my resources and link sections have disappeared… hmmmm.

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7 Responses to “A Little Help From My Blogging Friends”

  1. Gori Girl Says:

    Thanks for the shout-out. 😉

    From your site, it looks like you’re running wordpress software – is that correct?

    If so, the WordPress Codex has a TON of information – and a very helpful forums section if you get stuck and need to ask a question. Reading through the Quick Start section (which I linked to) would be my first suggestion.

    In order to have your favorite blogs/websites show up on the side (on what is called the sidebar – it can be on the left or the right), you should go to the dashboard (pictured here), and click on the link called “Links” on the left sidebar. Then click on “add new” (pictured here), and add in your favorite sites, one by one. If you’re having problems with that after adding a stat counter, then it sounds like the plugin you’re using is interfering with your theme (what creates the appearance of your blog) in some way. There’s a ton of free themes available where you might not have this problem. Without knowing the specific stat counter you’re using, or looking at the code of how your site is rendered, I’m not sure how to help you. Looking at the page code, it looks like there’s nothing being called on the sidebar – have you been fiddling with your widgets, perhaps?

    Generally, I recommend ProBlogger and Daily Blog Tips for good blogging advice.

    • blindianlove Says:

      Thanks Gori Girl! You’re awesome. I’ll go through this information tomorrow since I’m recuping from an ear infection and bronchitis. Oh..and yes I’ve been playing with the widgets but I only added the counter from statcounter.com. Thanks again!

  2. Lina Says:

    Hi

    Can I tell you how happy I am to have found your blog!! Another black and Indian couple and here I was beginning to think my husband and I were the only one ;). I look forward to reading your previous posts.

    • blindianlove Says:

      Lina,
      Thank you for the blog love! I remember thinking that no one else was like me and M. We never saw other couples like us but thankfully through this blog so many people have reached out to us. I’m happy that anyone married to an India reaches out. It’s through posts like yours and so many others that we learn, grow and appreciate other intercultural couples no matter what their ethnic back ground is.

  3. Joy Says:

    Hi, I am so glad to come across your blog of a successful and happy East Indian man and African American woman marriage. I’m a 25 year old AA woman who had to end an unhealthy relationship with an East Indian man (from Kochi, Kerala) about 1.5 years ago. By the end of our 2.5 year relationship, I, a beautiful smart woman with Chemical Engineering and Physics degrees and had been accepted into a top 40 graduate engineering program, was not good enough to be taken seriously. I could never be acceptable or good enough for him or his family just because of my race, something which I could not nor desired to change.

    It’s been a long climb for me to realize that my inner and outer beauty can be appreciated by white men, east asian men, or hispanic men. However, in my heart, I believed that I would always be “less than” to Indian men and their families.

    And then I came across your blog. Seeing that your husband and his family, from the same state and culture as my previous boyfriend, have such an openness for you made me cry. Not tears of anger or jealousy, but I cried tears of happiness because I realized that his and his family’s rejection of me was not because of me at all. I am more than acceptable. I’m an amazing person. I’m Joy and good people of any race can see that.

    Thank you very much for sharing your story on your blog. I just wanted to say that I’m very much a fan and I wish the best for all of your extended families. 😀

    • blindianlove Says:

      Joy,
      Your post made my heart leap because people like you are one of the main reasons I decided to write this blog. It’s not easy to always put our family life out on such a public forum, especially because I am so intensely private. However, I remember when M and I first started communicating. I scoured the web looking for faces and stories like ours. I came across so many stories that almost scared me away from him but I remembered that everyone’s situation is unique in its own way. Unfortunately, more of the scary stories make the web than the more positive ones. I know of at least five other AA/Indian couples who have been married for more than 7 years. They have children and they live happily. Like all relationships they have their ups and down but they perservere because of the deep love and affection they share.

      Always know that no matter WHO you are involved with, you are always acceptable. If they don’t realize that you’re as good if not better than anyone of another ethnic background, it’s THEIR loss..not yours. Sometimes that’s hard for us to realize when we are so into someone but if we keep our self worth in mind, we find someone who loves us in ways we couldn’t even imagine.

      I’ve said it time and time again but I couldn’t have chosen a better bunch of in-laws. Despite a more than occasional language barrier, they show their love and affection through actions which mean so much more. You will get that one day too. I want to say thank you for finding inspiration in M and I. We have our ups and downs but we love each other more with each passing day. We’re growing old together and attempting to build a life which exhibits the character we want our children to have. M has taught me how to love deeper and more connectively. Anytime I can share that with anyone else who appreciates it even an iota makes this blog worth it. Thank you for writing to me. Please keep in touch!

  4. honorarynewfie Says:

    Hi there, long time no see. 🙂
    Happy New Year to you and the family.
    I remember seeing somewhere in the support section that the first widget you set up in your sidebar removes all the default stuff, such as your blogroll.
    Just go to your dashboard and look down the left-hand side for Appearance, expand that, then click on Widgets.
    When the Widgets screen appears you can scroll down the list until Links appears, then click and hold that and drag it (slowly) up to the top right of the screen, and the screen will scroll until you can drop it into the widgets box below your stat counter. Click on Save because WordPress may lose it for you if you don’t, then you can expand it and make any changes you want, saving as you go.
    Same principle applies for all widgets.
    Hope this helps.
    I think you have my e-mail address from before if there is anything else you want to know.
    Good luck.
    Tom


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